Putting Traumatic Memories in Their Place

Talk therapy is incredibly important when dealing with trauma, but it stays in the left side of your brain. This side is where we deal with things using logic, reasoning, and facts. But often that’s not enough to help us fully recover from trauma. If you’ve experienced trauma, you know that the after-effects can also include images, body sensations, and strong emotions. Also, some aspects of trauma are just too difficult to put into words. So how do we work in the right side of your brain to put these sometimes-devastating remnants of trauma where they belong?

EMDR

You might have seen public figures like Prince Harry talk about their experiences with EMDR or maybe you know someone who has benefited from EMDR sessions. So, what is EMDR and how does it work?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Wow, that’s certainly a mouth full. Let’s first unpack the components of EMDR, then later we’ll talk about what to expect during an EMDR session.

Eye Movements

Why does EMDR use eye movements and what is happening? The eye movements themselves are not nearly as important as what is happening in the brain during the eye movements. The eye movements are a form of bilateral stimulation (BLS). This means that you are using your body to stimulate both sides of the brain. In EMDR, BLS is used to help turn on the processing part of the brain so that traumatic or distressing memory can be stored properly. It’s incredibly fascinating and amazing that our brains can do that.

Bilateral stimulation can be caused by various movements, but eye movements seem to work best for EMDR. Here’s an example you can try right now. Cross your arms over your chest so that your right hand on your left collar bone and your left hand is on your right one. It’s almost like you’re going to give yourself a hug. Now alternate slowly tapping each shoulder. There you go. You’re facilitating bilateral stimulation.

Desensitization and Reprocessing

Traumatic memories are so distressing because they haven’t been properly stored in the brain. Imagine you work in an office, and one day you arrive to see your files strewn all over the office. You feel like your space has been violated, much like your brain has been violated by trauma. After a while, you calm down, but it’s still really hard to work in your office. It feels messy and confusing and distracting to no end. You really can’t do your job or focus on anything else until the files are stored back in their proper places.

Traumatic memories can feel like that in your brain. Instead of files you experience emotions, memories, body sensations and thoughts in an unorganized, distressing way that impacts so many areas of your life.

• Work

• Relationships

• Feeling safe in the world

• Parenting

BLS and the EMDR protocol organize those files in your brain. It’s not as if the distressing or traumatic experience didn’t happen. It’s just properly stored in the brain and the body in an adaptive and appropriate way.

One of my favorite things about EMDR is that your brain has the natural capacity and desire to heal. All that you need to do EMDR “right” is to trust your brain to take you to the emotions, beliefs, images, and body sensations you need to address in order to heal.

The EMDR protocol and process

Now that you understand more of what EMDR can do, you’re probably wondering what to expect from an EMDR session. EMDR therapy has 8 phases, although they aren’t necessarily linear and you can move back and forth as necessary.

History

I’ll learn about you and hear your story at the very start of our first EMDR session. I’ll ask about supportive people in your life, things you do to care for yourself and other things that feel important for me to know about you. Additionally, I will ask about the traumatic or distressing experiences that are leading you to seek EMDR therapy.

Preparation

During the preparation phase, we will discuss your current resources as well as any additional resources you might need so that you feel supported during the EMDR process. For example, we might talk about important relationships in your life and the people you can reach out to if needed. We might also explore new skills to help you cope with ways the trauma is showing up in your body, relationships, emotions, or thoughts.

Assessment

Now we explore in more detail the specific memories and experiences we are going to process with EMDR. A lot of people express concern that they won’t think of the “right” memories to process. Not to worry. There are specific questions within the EMDR protocol that help us narrow down the especially important memories or images you need to process.

Desensitization

Next, we begin (through BLS) to process and then store traumatic memories in a more consolidated and adaptive way. As we work through the process, the traumatic memory will become less and less distressing and disturbing.

At the start, I’ll assess your memories on a scale of 0-10 (with 0 being not disturbing at all or neutral to 10 being the most disturbing thing you could imagine). Eventually, you’ll be able to say that the memory is a 0 in that it no longer feels distressing to think about it.

It’s important to say that EMDR doesn’t make things true that are untrue and it does not rewrite history. Some things we process in EMDR might always make you sad or wish that they hadn’t happened. It doesn’t make things that were wrong right. But it does change the way that you experience the memory in your body, the emotions you have about it and the thoughts you have about yourself, your world, and your relationships.

Installation

Before processing each memory I’ll ask you what negative self-beliefs you have because of the experience. I’ll also ask you what you prefer to believe about yourself instead - a more positive belief. For example, if you were neglected as a child you may believe “I am unworthy”. You probably wish to believe “I matter”. Once the memory is no longer disturbing we will use BLS to “install” the positive belief. We do this by holding the original memory in mind and the words “I matter” until the positive belief feels completely true.

Body Scan

We’ve always known that trauma can be stored as a memory, a feeling, or a belief. But we’re learning more and more about how trauma is held in the body. During the body scan, we’ll check for residual impacts of trauma in your body. Then we’ll continue the process until you no longer feel disturbance or tension in your body.

Closure

Sometimes we can process an entire memory in a single EMDR session, but sometimes it takes a few sessions. There is no way to predict how long it may take. However, EMDR is a proven, incredibly efficient, safe, and effective way to process traumatic memories.

Either way, it’s important we close out the EMDR processing at the end of each session. We’ll debrief for key learnings as well as process the memory into the present moment. We’ll also discuss what comes next, whether that be additional EMDR work on the current issue or deciding if there’s another one to address next time.

Reevaluation

Reevaluation will open the next session after a processing session. Whether or not we fully processed the memory from the previous session. we will always check in on that memory to start. Then we’ll discuss anything you noticed or experienced in between sessions. For example, you might have dreams about what we processed, have new memories come up, or notice a change in the symptoms that brought you to EMDR in the first place.

I have seen tremendous healing in both myself and clients using EMDR therapy. If this approach sounds like it might be for you, or you just want to learn more, please reach out to me.